


Baby's First Christmas

by xenospider



Series: Seahorse Monster Daddies [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Child, Babies, Christmas, Fluff, M/M, alien baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 06:59:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13161702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenospider/pseuds/xenospider
Summary: Peter and Wade have adopted a baby. Sort of. This is a short view of their Christmas together.





	Baby's First Christmas

The door slammed behind Peter as he entered the apartment.

“Merry Christmas, bugaboo!” said Wade from just inside. He leaned in and gave the waiting Peter a big wet kiss right on the mouth.

Peter grumbled in his throat but kissed him back anyway. “Happy Hanukkah, ding dong.”

Little baby Stephen crawled across the floor and waved an arm in the air, making burbly noises at them. Peter sighed and smiled, reaching out to grab him and lift him into his arms. “And happy holidays to you, kiddo. Whatever you’re going to grow up to celebrate.”

“Isn’t this a wonderfully inclusive family!” Wade said, kissing Peter on the cheek before he turned down the hall. “Come see the tree!”

“Inclusive, huh?” Peter raised an eyebrow and eyed little Stevie as the baby wrapped his arms around Peter’s neck. He had to pry him off before he started choking. “Is that what we’re calling this?”

“Yes!” Wade insisted from the other room. “Now come see! Little Stevie helped me decorate!”

Peter raised his eyes to the ceiling as if to ask the heavens for patience, kicked his shoes off at the door, and padded down the hallway with the little one clinging to him. “Did you put my menorah back up?”

“Mm-hm,” Wade said, and as Peter stepped into the living room Wade gestured to the shelf on the far wall. There was Peter’s menorah, just where he wanted it. The end table it had lived on every Hanukkah for as long as he’d been in this apartment was too much in little Stevie’s reach and the child had knocked it onto the floor the night before. There was a scorch mark on the carpet that they were going to have to deal with sooner or later.

“See? Safe and sound. I made Stevie promise not to climb up there and knock it down again.”

Peter stared into Stevie’s big round eyes and the baby patted his face. “I’m sure that would help if he actually spoke English.”

“Aw, he’s learning! Aren’t you, honey? Mommy’s teaching you good!”

“Ma!” Stevie said.

“Oh my god. He’s getting teeth.”

With a gasp, Wade was by their side in half a second, putting his hands on Stevie’s face and pulling up on his dark lips to expose his gums. “Aww, my baby is teething!”

Peter disentangled himself from Stevie’s arms and shoved him over at Wade, who was more than happy to hold the child. “That means he’s going to start chewing on everything.” He rubbed a hand over his mouth, frowning. “I don’t know what sorts of things are toxic for him. And anything innocuous we give him to chew on won’t last five minutes.”

“I’m sure we can find something that’ll hold up to his teething action,” Wade said. He chucked Stevie under the chin and bent his head to kiss him on the nose. “We’ll just get him one of those heavy duty dog chew toys!”

Flopping down on the couch, Peter stretched his legs out in front of him and tilted his head back. He put his hands over his eyes and sighed. “Yeah, that could work.” In any normal situation, he’d be shaking his head over the fact that he was going to get his child a dog toy to chew on. But the fact that he had this child to begin with was already well outside what anyone would call a normal situation.

The sofa cushion next to Peter sank down under Wade’s weight as he sat down, and Peter parted his fingers to look over at him.

“Dabba!” Stevie said, stretching out his arms towards Peter again.

“I’m Dabba?” Peter said, giving in and taking hold of the baby once more. He stuck his thumbs in Stevie’s mouth and pried his jaws open, peering inside. “How do you even pronounce the D sound with this mouth? Huh?” Stevie made burbly giggly noises and flailed his arms around, and Peter laughed. “Huh? How do you do it? Do you have a magic mouth? Is there magic in here?”

“Dabba doh ma!”

“I have no idea what that means,” Peter said, smoothing a hand over Stevie’s smooth head. “But you get top score for effort.”

“You’re so cute with him,” Wade said with a grin, propping his chin on his fist.

Peter cleared his throat. “Yeah, well… I _am_ gonna miss him when he goes back with his mother.”

Wade frowned. “But I’m his mommy.”

Chuckling, Peter said, “That’s not how biology works, but all right. You’re his mommy. I mean his other mother.”

“I miss his other mother,” Wade sniffed.

“I’m sure it won’t take much longer for Strange to find her.” Sure, Peter had mostly gotten used to the little squirt, but the two of them were not very well equipped to be parents just then. They’d been doing the best they could, but the baby would be better off with his mother.

Wade stood up. “Do you want some egg nog?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Peter said, responding automatically to Stevie’s nonverbal demand for a game of patty cake. “Stevie will probably drink some.”

Voice distorted from inside the fridge, Wade said, “Uh, all I got is the alcoholic kind.”

“Aw man really?” Peter frowned. “You know how much he likes getting in the fridge!”

“Yeah, well, I like my grown up juice!”

Peter opened his mouth to say something else, but Stevie chose that moment to shove an arm in there and grab his tongue. Coughing, Peter jerked his head away. “Ugh! No!”

“Stevie,” Wade scolded, walking over with his drink, “you know Daddy doesn’t like when you put your little fingers in his mouth.”

The little one did not seem to understand or care just then. He kept trying to shove a slippery digit past Peter’s lips while Peter hummed in protest and twisted his neck around.

“Wade!” Peter said.

“Okay okay, here,” Wade shoved the eggnog into Stevie’s grasp and pulled the child off of Peter.

“Hey! You can’t give him booze!”

“I’m sure it’s fine. He probably won’t metabolize it anyway.”

“You don’t _know!_ ” Peter grabbed the baby back and handed Wade the drink. Stevie, of course, went back to shoving his skinny little arm into Peter’s mouth. This time, he let it happen, and glared at Wade while his tongue was jerked around behind his teeth. “I hoth you’re hathy,” he slurred.

Wade raised his eyebrows and turned away to take a swig of eggnog. “Somehow it was sexier when his mother did that to you.”

Peter shoved Stevie off of him and lifted him high in the air over his head. “You just _had_ to go there, didn’t you. You just had to make it more awkward.”

“Do you think he’ll be able to find a girlfriend when he grows up?”

Not caring if Wade spilled his drink, Peter stood abruptly and dropped the baby on his head. “I need to be somewhere else right now.”

Wade managed to not spill anything, but he had to fight with the baby and his flailing arms and searching mouth over possession of the drink. “Aw, honey, don’t be like that.”

“I’m not!” Peter called, already down the hall. “I have last minute presents to wrap!”

Letting out an overdramatic gasp, Wade looked down at Stevie in his lap. “You hear that, Steviekins? More presents! The best part of celebrating both Hanukkah and Christmas!” He tickled the baby under the chin, grinning at the happy colors dancing across his pebbly skin. “You like opening presents, don’t you? Don’t you, my little Stevie weevie kins? Yes you do!”

Later, after food had been eaten and wrapping paper had been shredded all over the living room floor, it was time to put Stevie to bed. He kept blinking his big shiny eyes and flopping all over the place, and his skin was looking a bit dry. Peter filled the tub, then pulled the submersible heater out of the bathroom closet and set it in the water, making sure the temperature was just right.

“Sleepie time for Stevie!” Wade said, hauling the baby into the bathroom. Stevie was draped limply over his shoulder. “Little tyke is all tired out from all the excitement.”

Peter sighed and reached out to run a hand over Stevie’s skin. “Never thought I’d be chasing an infant tentacle monster around my apartment on Christmas.”

Kissing Uheni’s runt on the roundest part of his little head, Wade smiled at Peter. “Never thought I’d ever be dating Spider-Man, but here we are.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Peter leaned in for a kiss, which Wade freely gave.

Pulling Stevie off of him, Wade gently lowered him into the water. The little one swirled his arms around and burbled under the water until he got into his most comfortable position curled around the drain. “Goodnight, my little butt baby.”

Peter made a choking noise and left the bathroom. “For the love of god, don’t call him that _ever_ again. I will literally murder you.”

Wade followed and shut the door. He reached out to grab Peter’s elbow and pull him in close. “You can do anything you want to me, baby boy.”

“Mmm.” Peter wrapped his arms around Wade’s chest and buried his face against his neck. “Well, now that the baby’s in bed, maybe I’ll take you up on that.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Bedroom now.”

“Ooo,” Wade grinned. “What do you have in mind?”

“I’m going to show you your real Christmas present.”

“I like the sound of that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so it's not Christmas anymore and this is kind of rushed but I had the idea for this spin off of my fic [A Tale of Two Seahorses](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11690559/chapters/26318766), and I had to write it. XD


End file.
